


I Don't Need You (But I Still Want You)

by the_punk_ghost_girl



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-11
Updated: 2014-07-01
Packaged: 2018-02-04 07:14:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1770310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_punk_ghost_girl/pseuds/the_punk_ghost_girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gavin Free has loved his companion Michael Jones for a while now, and finally he gets the relationship he wants. Sort of. Luckily, he's got a certain Puerto Rican looking out for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Once A Whore; You're Nothing More, Sorry, That'll Never Change

Gavin Free glanced over at the redheaded boy sitting beside him, his large set of headphones placed upon his head as he edited his latest Rage Quit video. The younger British boy smiled before tearing his gaze away and back to his own editing. Oh, how he desired to run his hands through those auburn curls and how he desired to leave kisses all over that sweet face. Yet, of course, that’s not how it happened, at least, not in public.

For about a month Gavin and his companion, Michael Jones, had little off-camera romance occurring it seemed.

It started when on a summer evening, and the little brunet was staying over with the redhead for the night.

_It was quite the normal night when Gavin first arrived at the oh-so-familiar apartment of Michael’s belonging. The two of them had begun to play video games as always. Michael would shout at him for messing with him as they played, and Gavin would just giggle until they were both laughing messes. Then the British would glance at the American every once in a while and smile at the grin on his partner’s face. A grin that was contagious. Or perhaps, it was only contagious to him simply because he was found of the shorter ginger._

_And those chocolate eyes that could melt the polar icecaps faster than global warming ever could. Those eyes that whenever hazel caught their glance, butterflies were released into his stomach. Then there were those little freckles that dotted across his precious, pale skin like stars in the midnight sky. Michael was even the perfect weight. He was not merely skin and bone, when Gavin hugged him it was as if hugging a stuffed animal almost. His thighs were considerably thick, and made the little hazel-eyed boy wonder what it was like to sit upon them while having the brown-eyed boy leave love bites around his neck and collarbone area…_

_No, Gavin scolded himself as he shook his head,  
now was not the time for those kinds of thoughts._

_Not only was Michael aesthetically pleasing to Gavin, he was romantically and sexually pleasing to him. And that’s when the Brit knew that he was already six feet under. It was just up to the American if it would be his grave or not._

_All was normal that night until they cracked open the bottle of cheap wine in Michael’s refrigerator._

_“We can’t drink wine though; it’s a fancy drink you’re supposed to have with dinner.” he pointed out as he watched his friend open the bottle then drag out little teacups from the cupboard._

_“Gavin, this is the cheap wine. Yes, there is classier wine that you drink with your Christmas dinner, but this is the kind of wine you drink simply for the sake of getting drunk. Which we’ll be by the second glass, because we get really drunk of wine.” Michael murmured as he poured the purple liquid into the cups._

_“Mi-cool, why are we drinking it from teacups; don’t you have wine glasses?” Gavin wondered as the auburn-haired boy pushed the cup towards the brunet._

_“I do, but you see, those glasses are too good for this kind of wine. Yet, it’s still wine we’re drinking so we’ve still got to be somewhat classy. Therefore we use the teacups.” he explained as he took a sip from his teacup. Gavin smiled as he realized these were the little teacups he’d given Michael for Christmas the previous year._

_‘Oh, what the Hell,’ the Brit thought to himself as he connected brown eyes with hazel as he took a sip of wine from the cup, knowing all too well the possibility of him doing something horrific was very high._

_Sure enough, after about four teacups filled to the brim with wine, the two twenty-six-year-olds lay on the white tiled kitchen floor._

_“Michael,”_

_“Yes, Gavin?”_

_“Have you ever thought that you were gay?”_

_“Of course I have, I think everyone does, why? Are you gay?” Michael turned over on his side, propping his head up with his shoulder._

_“I’d say I’m bisexual, because I only really like one bloke, and I can still see myself with a girl you know if I wanted to be romantically involved with one.” Gavin mumbled as he remained staring up at the ceiling in the dark._

_“Oh, who do you like?”_

_“I don’t think you know him,”_

_“Describe him to me, maybe I do.”_

_Gavin licked his lips and thought for a moment, his thoughts clouded therefore he honestly couldn’t think of incredibly beautiful words to say._

_“Well, he’s got ginger hair. But not the orange kind of ginger, like the dark kind. That’s kind of mixed with brown, ya know. And he’s got real pretty brown eyes. Not the kind of brown that’s like dark, but the kind of brown that looks…almost like honey. Then he’s got these cute freckles on his cheeks, and his body is absolutely perfect.”_

_“Gavin,”_

_“Yes, Michael?”_

_“My hair’s fucking auburn, ya prick,”_

_“Well, I’m sorry.” Gavin smirked as he threw his arms up into the air as if to signal he surrendered._

_“You know,”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“I think I like a guy too,”_

_“Oh, really?”_

_“Yeah, but I doubt you know him.”_

_“Describe him to me, maybe I do know him.”_

_“Well, he’s really fucking dumb. But it’s not like purposely, he thinks it’s cute and it’s funny. I think it’s cute too. But anyway, he’s got like light brown hair that’s like really messy. He’s got a rather big nose, but I don’t care. He’s got green eyes, but they’re kind of tinted over with brown. Like if you were to take autumn leaves and place them over green spring leaves. But there’s a perfect mixture of the two colors. And his body is perfect. I know he’s really insecure about it too, but he does have a nice body. Like ten out of ten would bang.”_

_“Michael,”_

_“Yes, Gavin?”_

_“My eyes are hazel, you donut.”_

_“I was trying to be poetic, jackass.”_

_Gavin slowly clapped his hands together, “You get a kiss on the cheek for trying,” yet he forgot that Michael was sitting up facing him, so lips did not collide with soft skin. Lips collide with lips._

_Pupils dilated in fear as Gavin sat up and shoved himself away from Michael, covering his mouth as he realized what he did._

_“Oh my God, I’m so fucking sorry!” he gasped._

_“No, no, it’s okay. Just, come back here.” Michael purred before pulling himself towards the Brit once more. He fit perfectly in the space as Gavin has his legs spread apart. The auburn-haired boy grabbed onto the scruffy chin of the hazel-eyed one as he pushed their lips together once again._

Luckily, the two boys had not been drunk enough to not remember the little make out session on the cold kitchen floor. Honestly, Gavin had felt a bit like a slut. That’s not how he wanted to confess his feelings to Michael, but his American companion had pulled him into another heated kiss to reassure him. Boy, it reassured him alright.

After that night, hands would slide towards inner thighs to distract each other from playing a video game. There were kisses pressed on necks and on collarbones. Rants were cut short when one was pushed down against the couch with their attacker straddling themselves on hips.

It was the sexual relationship Gavin had wished with Michael.

Yet, he could not help to think that this was not enough. He wanted a romantic relationship as well. Gavin wanted to hold his hand, but Michael wanted to hold his hips. Gavin wanted to run his fingers through Michael’s hair, but Michael wanted to run his fingers up his back. Gavin wanted to go to bed with Michael to sleep, but Michael wanted to go to bed with Gavin to have sex with him.

Gavin honestly never really wanted to have sex with the redhead, but if it meant that he loved him. Then he would do it for him.

To be completely honest though, Michael only ever told him he loved Gavin after having sex. Yet, the brunet never wanted to question it. He didn’t want it to not be true.

This all occurred, or began to occur in May; they were now three weeks into June and the boys had not spent time alone since the last Wednesday in May. In which, as the days went by, Gavin’s craving to touch Michael’s skin again was becoming stronger; strong enough that it made him forget the shit feeling he knew he’d feel after the intercourse. Therefore, on the Tuesday of the fourth week into June, as Michael went to the small kitchen in the building to get a drink as his mouth was dry from screaming so much, Gavin followed him. With his back facing towards him, the Brit came up behind him and wrapped his arms around the other’s torso while resting his chin on those soft curls.

“Come home with me tonight, babe.” Gavin murmured slowly and as seductively as he could even though his heart was pounding and his throat suddenly felt as if he had smoked a thousand cigarettes.

“Mm, I wish, but I have a date with Lindsay tonight.”

His heart stopped pounding.

The hazel-eyed boy removed his arms from around his secret lover; he stumbled backwards until his hands gripped onto the island behind him. Tears welled in his eyes and threatened to spill over; finally he remembered how to breathed, and took a trembling breath.

“Are you okay, Gavin, you don’t look well.”

_Oh, how cute, he actually sounds concerned._

“No, I don’t feel well.”

It was not a lie; in fact it was far from a lie.

His chest felt as if a boulder had been left to rest on it. His eyes stung with burning tears of sadness and hate. His hands felt numb. His stomach felt as if it had been twisted into a giant knot. It felt as if his entire soul had left him.

It might as well,  
that was it.  
That was the end;  
the hole had turned out to be his grave.

“You should tell Geoff, I’m sure, he’ll let you go home early. We’re not doing much anyway. I hope you feel better, Gav.” Michael murmured before walking towards the direction of where Lindsay’s desk was located.

_Don’t you dare call me Gav; you have no right to call me that._

The brunet-haired boy sighed shakily once more before walking towards the Achievement Hunter office. No one turned to look at him as he entered, but he walked over to where his surrogate father sat at one of the desks with his headphones on his ears as he edited a video for their YouTube channel. He tapped him on the shoulder.

“Oh, hey, Gavin, what’s wrong?” Geoff wondered noticing the grimace on his surrogate son’s face, his bright blue eyes splashed immediately with concern.

“I just feel a bit ill…may I go home early?” he questioned, he knew once Michael was done talking with the redheaded girl, he’d be back in the office room, and the thought of being in the same room as the auburn-haired boy made him feel even more sick.

“Oh…uh…sure, bud, I’ll drive you home.” Gavin held up his hand to signal the older man to stop.

“That’s okay, I can walk.” The hazel-eyed boy informed him as sternly as his voice would allow.

“Are you sure?” The blue-eyed man asked, becoming even more concerned with his practical son and employee. Gavin nodded in response.

“Alright, I guess I’ll see you at home, bud. Thank care, get some sleep.” Geoff murmured before standing up to give Gavin an affectionate squeeze which he would have normally appreciated greatly, but it only made him want to cry more. The brown-haired boy nodded his head in response to the mustache-faced man’s orders before walking out the door and out of the building. Unaware of the sympathetic gaze tossed at him from a certain Puerto Rican in the corner of the room.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ray never liked the idea of Gavin being involved with Michael.

Although the older Brit never directly told him about his crush on the even older American, it was fairly obvious to anyone with eyes and a heart. The way Gavin looked at Michael was just so lovely and innocent; it told the eyes ‘awe’ but it broke the heart in two. Ray also knew very well that the redhead would never return the brunet’s feelings.

That was something Ray did not particularly enjoy about Michael’s personality.

Now, in truth, Ray did love Michael with all his heart. It just did not appeal to him how he would play with others’ feelings simply because he didn’t know exactly where his feelings stood either.

Ray had seen this happen with two people since he knew Michael. One was a girl and one was a boy. Ray had conversations with both victims and apologized deeply for the shit they went through with the confused ginger. Even though he wasn’t in the position to apologize, Michael was the one who needed to say sorry.

Oh God,  
Oh no,  
no he did not. Ray thought to himself as he watched Gavin leave the office area.

Oh God,  
Oh no,  
he did. He did, and Ray goddamn knew it no matter how much he wanted to be wrong. Except he couldn’t be wrong when he knew one hundred percent that he was right.

The dark-haired man jumped out of his chair and stumbled out the office door only to accidentally bump into someone.

“Oh, hey, Ray.” Nope, not him, he definitely did not have time for him. Therefore the glasses-eyed man ignored the greeting and rushed out of the Rooster Teeth, brown eyes stared after him with a confused glint.

Ray knew very well that Gavin had not gone home, but the question was:  
where had he gone?

What was one place Gavin loved to be other than at Rooster Teeth, his home with Geoff and his family, and Michael’s apartment?

_“Come on, Ray, we’re going to the lake.”_

_“Why?”_

_“I just love the lake, the way the water is just so still and how it looks like it’s a big ocean of ink at night. I feel at peace even just standing near it.”_

The lake at the park!

Ray raced down the streets of Austin, not caring at all the people in cars that looked at him oddly. He just needed to find his friend.

Soon enough, he arrived at Cat Claw Park. Another reason why Gavin loved it, Ray remembered, because it had cat in the name. And the brown-haired boy loved anything to do with those furry little creatures. Ray’s dark chocolate gaze swept across the green grass of the park, observing and searching for that familiar, messy sandy hair he loved. There were couples holding hands in the park, they were children playing ball, and they were people lying underneath the shade of a tree reading. Finally, he swept his gaze towards the pretty, but man-made lake in the very middle of the park. Though he stood far away, he could still recognize his companion from the distance.

Ray carefully walked towards him, fearful that the British would respond with anger despite how the little guy never really responded with anger to anything. But slowly and surely, Ray approached closer to where he sat at the edge of the lake like when they did that one night in the middle of winter. Yet, when he stood about fifteen feet away from his companion the breeze blew an awful sent into his nostrils.

Cigarette smoke.

Oh God,  
oh no,  
No he was not.

The dark-eyed man stood there for a moment, his eyes peeled as he intensely watched Gavin. He watched as the hazel-eyed boy moved his arm out in front of him. In his hand he indeed held a cigarette, which he was continuously putting back up to his lips and smoking on. He was smoking the long kind of cigarettes.

Ray huffed to himself before marching up forward,

“Gavin, what do you think you’re doing?” Ray had meant his voice to sound stern and authoritative, but unfortunately it came off as hurt as the dark-haired man felt inside. He knew exactly why his nonsmoker companion was now destroying his lungs with the nicotine. And oh God, did it crumple Ray’s heart like it was simply made of paper.

The British boy squeaked and the cigarette escaped his hand; he attempted to catch, but he seemingly forgot that it was burning and he squeaked when it came in contact with his palm which caused him to drop it into the water lapping at his shoes. He twisted his head around so that he could stare at his younger companion; he shook his head, and turned his head back around to stare at the cigarette being pulled into the lake.

“Goddamn it, Ray, warn a lad next time.” Gavin hissed.

“You shouldn’t be smoking anyway, Gavin.” Ray reminded him as he sat down beside the older boy, the water daring to lap at his own shoes.

“I know,” the brunet-haired boy sighed as he stared at the water, unable to look in his friend’s eyes in fear there would be nothing but disappointment. Ray pursed his lips before reaching over and taking Gavin’s right hand in his left. This caused Gavin to look up to find that there was no such thing as disappointment in those dark chocolate eyes

There was only:   
Guilt,   
sadness,   
and a hint of something else.

Affection?  
Love?

Gavin was not for sure, but he was not in the mood for asking questions. Therefore he just let Ray hold on to his hand as the silence was finally broken.

“What did Michael do to hurt you?”

The question caused Gavin’s heart to stop beating for a moment, the air to catch in his throat, and tears to well up in his eyes once again. He had been able to stop them once he reached the convenient store to grab bad habits, but now here they were again.

“Oh, no, no, Gavin, don’t cry please. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Ray murmured as he scooted closer to Gavin, placing both of his legs on top of Gavin’s as he hugged him, allowing for Gavin to rest his cheek against Ray’s soft, jet black hair.

It was as if a small gray cloud had opened just above Ray and Ray alone as he felt salt-stained rain begin to soak his hair.

Not that he cared.

The only thing he cared about was Gavin. He stood quite still as the body leaned against him began to shake as silent rain became a heavy thunderstorm. Every so often, a tiny whimper would escape from little pink lips. Oh God, how Ray felt as if his ribs were being smashed into the tiniest of pieces. Why did Michael have to hurt the innocent? Why did Gavin have to get wrapped around his little finger? These were questions the Puerto Rican knew he would never fully understand, but that did not make it any less right for him to wonder such.

Soon enough, the heavy thunderstorm quickly passed as all that was left was the sound of pitter patter as water would fall from the edge of the roof and onto the concrete [or Gavin hiccupping in a much more simpler term, Ray liked simpler terms sometimes, but he was so used to the British boy saying everything so beautifully he tried it himself every once in a while].

“He fucked around with me, literally, he would fuck me. Then today….I just felt the need to touch his skin so badly….I asked him to come home with me tonight. Then he said he had a date with Lindsay.” Gavin murmured Ray could feel his jaw move with each syllable he spoke. He also felt what felt like the last of his ribs break. Gavin’s voice was just so small and so broken.

“I’m so sorry….this is all my fault.” the dark-haired young man mumbled as he felt his own chest constrict and his breath catch in his throat. No, he didn’t need to cry in front of Gavin. He needed to stay strong for his littler, but not younger, friend.

“It’s not your fault, Ray, please; don’t think this is your fault.” the light-brunet-haired young man whispered into the other’s hair.

“No…I should have told you about Michael, but I didn’t. You just looked at him and you were so happy, and I wanted you to be happy. I just prayed to whatever God wanted to listen that Michael changed like he said he would, but…he didn’t.” the Puerto Rican sighed heavily.

“Told me what about him?” the European boy wondered as he finally lifted his head from resting on Ray’s.

“You’re not the first person he’s hurt like this. He’s done this before to two other people. A really tiny girl called Jayden and a guy nearly as sweet as you called Hayley. He started fucking around with Jayden, and then a while later he started fucking with Hayley. It’s sad; he told me he was going to change. As much as I love Michael, he just doesn’t need to be in a relationship until he figures out how to deal with his feelings piece by piece like a normal human being.” Ray explained he glanced at Gavin whose gaze was focused on the water. Ray wondered if Gavin wished to jump into the water. To sink in and to drown, Jayden and Hayley had said similar things about how they felt shitty enough they could kill themselves. Luckily, they never did and Ray hoped to God Gavin would not even dare think of suicide.

“I feel like I should have told you, I shouldn’t have believed him when he said he would change. I’m so sorry, Gavin. I’m so sorry.” he murmured. For a moment there was only silence until he felt himself being pulled into an embrace.

“It’s okay, Ray, I don’t blame you.” Gavin replied before pressing his lips to soft black hair. This action made the younger boy’s heart flutter and he was for sure it would flutter like a little butterfly straight out of his chest. Right into Gavin’s hands probably, because that little British kid had every bit of his heart.

“Michael doesn’t deserve you, Gavin. He doesn’t deserve someone as amazing and beautiful and wonderful as you. He barely deserves the ground you walk on.” Ray complimented as he buried his head into the crook of the Brit’s neck. Who felt his cheeks burn and he thanked that Ray could not see the light blush on his cheeks.

“T-thank you, Ray.” Nope, his voice gave it away.

“You’re welcome, Gavin.” Ray said as he lifted up his head to catch the light blush on his companion’s face which made a wide smile raise the corners of his lips.

“Now, come on, why don’t we go back to my place to play video games and order pizza?” he wondered as he stood to his feet, holding hand out for the British to grab a hold of. Gavin smiled up at the Puerto Rican as he grabbed a hold of his hand so that he could be pulled to his feet.

“Wait,” the hazel-gazed boy murmured as he dug into his jean’s front pocket with the hand that was not clasped in Ray’s. He took out the package of Misty cigarettes and, proudly, the dark-eyed boy watched as his friend threw the cigarettes into the lake. The two casted smiles at one another before running towards the younger’s apartment complex.

“I’m so out of shape,” Gavin gasped as the two of them stood right outside underneath the black metal staircase that would lead to Ray’s apartment.

“You’re more in shape than I ever was and or will be.” Ray breathed as he placed his hands above his head, learning during his track year in middle school that it helped to regain breath.

“Whatever,” the taller boy hissed playfully before walking up the steps with aching legs; the shorter boy inserted his key into the lock.

“What the fuck? Why isn’t this working?” he hissed as he turned the knob once again.

“Ray,”

“Yes, Gavin?”

“That’s your work key,”

“Oh, I knew that.”

The two of them were giggling messes as they walked into the apartment. Ray turned on all the lights and he turned on the Xbox and television. Gavin ordered the pizza which arrived about fifteen minutes after they began playing GTA V. This went on until about two o’clock in the morning until they decided it was time to relax and watch television. Well, Netflix since no real entertaining television was on at that time in night.

“We should watch Doctor Who, X-Ray!” Gavin piped up as he watched his companion scan through the selections.

“What is Doctor Who anyway?” Ray wondered as he stared at the cover art of the television show. In which was a big, blue police box.

“One of the greatest British televisions ever,” the brunet said biasedly.

“Oh, then we’re definitely not watching it,” the dark brunet scoffed with a smile on his face as he quickly scrolled past it.

“Why the hell not?” the hazel-eyed boy asked with false offense in his voice.

“Because everything that comes from there is stupid.” the dark-chocolate-eyed boy purred with a smirk on his lips.

“Hey, shut the fuck up!” the Brit growled before beginning to lightly punch Ray in the shoulder causing him to try and lean away from him.

“I was gonna say except you!” the Puerto Rican cried out between laughter.

“Uh-huh,” Gavin hummed.

“Fine, we’ll watch it.” Ray decided as he went back to the show and clicked on it to begin watching it.

“Love you, Ray.” Gavin gushed as he sat back in the couch,

“Mhm, I love you, too, Gavin.” Ray said softly as he settled beside the boy.

At the very last episode of the first season, their eyes soon began to droop with exhaustion, and before Ray found a peaceful sleep he felt something laid against his shoulder and something soft brush against his cheek. And the familiar smell of apples filled his nostrils. The television was turned down low and the soft snoring of slumbering twenty-four and twenty-six men were heard along with the sound of the Doctor regenerating.


	2. 'Cause Sorrow is Just All the Rage

Gavin awoke the next morning with a bit of a crick in his neck; the corner of his mouth felt a bit damp and instinctively he reached up with his small hand balled into a fist to wipe away saliva that was beginning to pour.

“Ah, man, that’s gross. All over the Legend of Zelda t-shirt too.” a familiar voice hissed in his ear. The brunet moved his head so his chin rested on whatever his head had and blinked open his eyes to be greeted with nearly black eyes belonging to Ray.

“Good morning to you too,” he replied before pushing himself off the Puerto Rican to lie on his back against the sofa and to spread his legs out across the other young man’s lap.

“No, this is not how this works.” Ray commented before lying on his side so that his head rested on Gavin’s stomach which responded with growling.

“Guess that’s to tell me to go make breakfast.” The dark-haired boy giggled before pushing Gavin’s legs off of his lap, stretching as he stood to his feet, and then walked towards the kitchen.

“R-ay, you don’t have to do that.” the brunet drawled out the ‘R’ in his companion’s name as he sat up so that he could look at Ray from over the couches back.

“Well, I’d say come help me, but we both know that you will just burn my apartment.” the younger teased as he began to drag out pancake mix from the cabinet as well as bacon from the refrigerator.

“You’re horrible, Ray.” Gavin hissed playfully before standing up to his own feet, stretching a bit, and then walking over to the small kitchen part of the apartment.

“Uh-huh.” the Puerto Rican young man scoffed as he messed with Pandora radio on his phone before selecting his Fall Out Boy station which immediately blasted ‘I’ve Got All This Ringing in My Ears but None on My Fingers’. He set his cell phone next to Gavin who was now sat on the counter.

There was a comfortable silence between the two of them until a question popped into Ray’s mind.

“Gavin, are you going to go to work today?” he wondered softly as he placed the last of the six pancakes [three for each for the two of them] onto a plate for his friend. In that exact moment the song switched from the last chord of ‘I Write Sins Not Tragedies’ by Panic! At The Disco to ‘Therapy’ by All Time Low. Ray quickly scrambled over to his phone and hit skip to change the song which was thankfully a much happier tune.

The young British boy looked up from fiddling with his thumbs to meet his companion’s worried dark brown gaze. The same question had been on his mind as well. Could he go back to work? Look at Michael in the face as if he had never hurt him? Or watch the redhead as he hold hands affectionately with the redheaded girl in their office? Could he do that without breaking down into a puddle of tears once again? If he had anymore tears to cry.

Of course he could, an unknown angrier side of the boy hissed from deep within his thoughts. Why should he let some slut keep him away from what he loved doing? From the people he loved at the place he loved doing what he did. Why should some slut keep him from that?

Gavin shook his head and his pupils widened in surprise,  
where had those thoughts come from?

“Gavin, are you okay? You look out of it; you know you don’t have to go.” Ray spoke to him gently; the Brit focused his blurred gaze on dark brown orbs once more. Dark brown orbs filled with concern once again.

The brunet lifted the corners of his lips into a small smile, “I’m fine, Ray, of course I’m going to work.” he answered before hopping off the counter. “Ray, may I borrow one of your shirts today?” it was his turn to ask a question as an idea made its way into his head.

“Uh, sure, I suppose?” the dark-haired boy answered unsurely as he watched his companion sauntered away to the bedroom.

Gavin walked into Ray’s familiar bedroom and tore open the closet door to reveal t-shirts hung surprisingly perfectly. He knew well enough that Ray was smaller than him therefore all of his shirts would be a bit tight-fitting and that’s exactly what Gavin wanted. After eyeing over the colorful mix of t-shirts he chose the famous “I’m Going Cake-less” t-shirt. He then headed into Ray’s bathroom for a quick shower. Once out of the shower, refreshed and dry, he pulled on his boxers and pants once more before pulling on the t-shirt.

It was a tight fit, but not tight enough to be uncomfortable. Today was not the day for his hair to be stuck up in all different directions. First he smoothed down his light brown hair, but then he pushed them up a bit with his hand. Giving it a messy-but-not-too-messy look, God, did he feel like a girl, but he needed to show Michael that he definitely did not need him romantically. Gavin was not even sure if the two of them were companions still. Did he still want to be Team Nice Dynamite with a man who fucked with him in the ass as well as his heart?

The hazel-eyed boy shook his head,  
wait, and where did that thought come from?

Gavin shook his head to clear his mind of his boggling thoughts, flashed himself one more smile in the mirror, and then headed out back into the front of the apartment where the smell of food reminded him of how hungry he was.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You know, Gavin, you’re really weird sometimes.” Ray murmured as he set his friend’s plate of pancakes and bacon on the table. He then looked up to be met with the sight of Gavin. Hair combed in a completely different, but suiting style, and he was squeezed into one of Ray’s t-shirt. It outlined his figure perfectly, the Puerto Rican concluded.

“Says the man staring me down,” Gavin commented slyly with a cheeky smile; Ray felt his cheeks burn. He casted his dark gaze down to the floor and before walking out of the room to get in a shower of his own, he murmured “You just sit the fuck down and eat.”

Ray rubbed his face with his hands as he stood in the warm water of the shower. The image of Gavin in his t-shirt made his heart flutter. Not just because it fit him well, but because it was _his_ t-shirt. It was a general thought that if you saw anyone wearing a t-shirt that did not originally belong to them and looked to be a size too big [or small in Gavin’s case] that it came from a significant other. Oh God, how he wanted Gavin to be his significant other. But it was clear to the dark-haired twenty-four-year-old that the Brit was in the process of going through the ‘I don’t need you, and I’ll keep this act up in front of you, but God, do I want you back,’ phase. Which was how Hayley had handled the situation, Ray remembered.

Suddenly, there was a pound on the door to awake him from his thoughts.

“Ray! Kdin’s here! You need to hurry!” Gavin called out to him from the other side of the bathroom door before it was silent again.

Ray sighed as he quickly washed his body, washed the conditioner out of his hair, and then stepped out into the steam-filled room. He dried himself off, pulled on his X-Ray t-shirt, a clean pair of underwear and pants. Combing down his hair, he walked out of the bathroom, pulled on his checkered vans, and made his way towards the main part of his apartment to find Gavin and Kdin chatting on his couch.

“Ah, good morning, Ray!” Kdin greeted him, “Morning, Kdin.” Ray muttered back as he walked over to stand beside Gavin.

“Ready to go?” the shortest of them all questioned, Ray tossed Gavin a look of worry. Could Gavin really keep up this attitude? Even if he saw Lindsay and Michael being lovely with one another, Ray was not so sure. And he was not so sure he was ready to find out.

“Sure thing, Kdin,” Gavin purred as he stood up from where he sat on the couch. Their eyes turned to Ray who glanced between the two of them. Slowly, he nodded his head and the three of them made their way out of the apartment.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the distance between the car and their work complex, Gavin could feel some of his confidence slipping from his grasp. It suddenly hit him just how painful it would be to see Michael with Lindsay. Or how painful it would be to have to look into those caramel eyes in general, to look at a man whom he thought loved him. Suddenly, Gavin was not all too sure how he felt about returning to work.

But he figured it had to be done at some point. Not to mention he had not come home the previous night and he had not bothered to look at his cellular device since around one o’clock the previous day’s afternoon. He knew he had to explain that to Geoff at some point. Unless Geoff didn’t care about him anymore, which was not a thought he could so easily dismiss. Wait, of course Geoff cared about him. Why would he think any other wise? Because Michael doesn’t care about him anymore, anyone could not care about him. Even Ray, who took him home the other night and cared for Gavin, he could have just been doing it to be nice.

The brunet shook his head, that wasn’t like him. These thoughts weren’t like him. Of course Geoff cared about him. Of course Ray cared about him. And there was a difference between love and care. Perhaps Michael didn’t love him, but he still had to care about him right?

“Gavin, are you okay?” the sudden whisper in his ear brought him out of his trance. He turned his head to meet his hazel gaze with Ray’s dark brown gaze. There was something on his hand and he glanced down to see it was his companion’s hand. He glanced from the hand on top of his own to Ray; after a moment of doing this, the Puerto Rican slowly removed his hand off of Gavin’s and gave him a small smile. The Brit returned the small smile, placed his own hand on top of Ray’s for a moment, his thumb stroking the man’s moca-colored skin before removing his hand off of the younger boy’s.

“I’m fine, Ray.” Gavin finally answered, he looked into Ray’s dark brown orbs once more to find himself immediately drowning in concern.

False concern, Gavin suddenly thought. Ray didn’t really care. He was just being nice. No, Ray cared about him. That’s how a friendship worked! Two people caring about each other. Ray was his friend. He had to care about him right? This internal argument twisted Gavin’s stomach and made his skin go cold.

“Are you sure, you look sick.” the comment was registered in the back of his mind while he still listened to the two voices arguing inside of him. He breathed deep and shook his head once again. His vision focused and he turned to look at Ray once again.

“I’m okay, Ray, really, I’m okay.” except the British boy was not all too sure if he was. He turned his head forward to see that the car was now parking in front of the Rooster Teeth building. Now was the time to gather whatever confidence he had dropped.

And so he did.

The car was put into park, turned off, and the sound of doors opening was heard. Gavin climbed out of the backseat after Ray, and he glanced up at the building for a moment. Yes, he was really about to face Michael the person who fucked him over. He was really about to face Lindsay the woman whom was probably going to get fucked over as well. He was really about to face the possibility of the two of them holding hands and kissing each other.

But it had to be done at some point.

And so he followed Kdin and Ray into the building.

“GAVIN DAVID FREE!” a familiar voice rang throughout the building suddenly which caused poor Kara at the front desk to jump in surprise. Gavin watched with wide eyes as Geoff marched out of the office area. The tattooed man towered over him, for a moment the younger boy refused to look at him in the eyes. But when he did, he found himself suffocated by how much concern was written in those familiar blue eyes.

“Where were you last night? You said you didn’t feel well, I went out to your little place in the backyard, but you weren’t there! You weren’t with Millie in her room, you weren’t anywhere! I called you, I texted you, but you didn’t answer! Where were you? Are you okay? Were you kidnapped? Were you raped?” the older man’s questions swarmed in his ears like a thousand bees. Gavin didn’t know what else to do but to hug Geoff.

“I’m okay, Geoff, I swear. I was just sad and then Ray came after me, and I was at his apartment. I’m sorry I didn’t answer; I didn’t think you’d worry so much. I’m sorry, Geoff.” he murmured quickly into the forest green fabric of the mustache-faced man’s t-shirt.

After a moment of silence, he felt his basic guardian wrap his arms around him in return of the hug which made Gavin’s bones relax as well as Geoff’s.

“It’s okay, buddy. I didn’t mean to yell, I was just incredibly worried.” Geoff told him once they broke away from their embrace. “Now, come on, we’ve got a Let’s Play to do.” the brown-haired man informed him before bounding towards the office.

“I’ll be right there, just let me get a beer!” Gavin shouted after the man, who stuck his arm out so that he could see the thumbs up he was given.

The brunet walked over to the little kitchen area, opened the refrigerator, grabbed a beer and set it on the counter top. Just as he was about to open it with the bottle opener, he felt someone wrap their arms around his waist and nuzzle their face into his back. He could feel their glasses.

“You know, you never answered my text messages either, babe.”


End file.
